Vulnerability

A word I had never thought of. But now, at this stage of my life, I realize that it is important that I meditate a little more on its meaning and what it represents for me. Life has been showing me the beauty of being vulnerable and I don't want to let this teaching pass, I want to make it conscious, I want to recognize it and embrace it.

I looked up definitions and found:

¨Emotional vulnerability refers to the feeling of emotional fragility or difficulty dealing with emotions effectively. People who experience emotional vulnerability may feel overwhelmed by their feelings, have difficulty regulating their emotions, and find it difficult to recover emotionally from stressful or traumatic situations.¨

Yes, I understand that is the common meaning, but my experience has shown me something beautiful about vulnerability.

My father, a man over 80 years old, a patriarch all his life, his entire family and friends revolved around him, like a great sun surrounded by planets that he cares for and protects. He played this role effortlessly, almost without speaking, a serious man, strong like a giant oak that is not shaken by anything and that gives shade to whoever needs it. He never learned to give love with caresses, hugs or kisses. His way was to always be there for whoever needed it and listen for hours to whoever needed it.

Today, an old man with senile dementia, today his shield (strong and heavy) has fallen to the ground, all the paradigms of "patriarch" evaporated and a vulnerable but sensitive old man remained. Now enjoy the company, allow a warm kiss on the forehead, now, smile more, play with words (sometimes absurd) or with sounds trying to be funny. Now, he stretches out his arms and kisses my cheeks, now I can witness all the vulnerability he always had and that he hid for years, preventing him from receiving tenderness from those of us who loved him most. How much love he could have received in the forms of hugs, caresses and kisses, but his shield of strength prevented it.

We must allow ourselves to be vulnerable, because that is exactly where strength lies.

There is nothing more beautiful than seeing a man admitting that he is afraid, admitting that he is scared, admitting that he is sad, admitting that he made a mistake. There is no more nobility in the human being than when one recognizes oneself as HUMAN.

When we recognize all this and allow ourselves to recognize ourselves as vulnerable beings, we give more space to love, to grow... to improve.

Now I have the opportunity to enjoy my father in a way that I had not been able to before, now I can love him with my hands, with my arms, I can touch and caress him, honoring him, without the shields or armor of a patriarch. Now I am the one who can take care of him, organize his hair, put creams on his arms and legs, be able to look carefully at the color of his eyes and each of his wrinkles. And thank him, thank him silently for everything he has given in his life, now it is time to receive.

Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable gives us the opportunity to learn to receive and, without fear, let ourselves see how fragile we really are. Whoever appreciates that, truly loves us.

Thank you, dad (that's what I call him) even at this stage, you continue to teach me about life.