Love

God, what a word. Every time I try to write something about this topic, I am flooded with emotions and memories. There are so many my loves. Seriously, if I could start listing what I love and who I love and loved... I swear I wouldn't finish in weeks. Where to start talking about love??? Now my mind tries to find order... for the things I love? for the things that generate enormous love in me? for the people I have loved? for the people I love today? For whom have they loved me? Or it would be better to tell you how I perceive this emotion, how I have experienced it. It's worth clarifying that the way I love changes over time, and that seems right to me. I change over time, my needs change over time, my joys are not the same as when I was 20 years old. My perspective on life today is different.

Today I love differently

What if I start with “wanting” and “loving”?

They are two words with different definitions, at least for me. I think that wanting implies the satisfaction of possessing. An “I want” refers to “I want it for myself” and I hope that a “I want you” comes back.

Love is different. Loving is exactly the opposite. In my own dictionary, loving is a set of emotions that has nothing to do with possessing. I can love a sunset and not put it in a bottle so I can see it whenever I want.

A while ago, I was in the situation of loving someone and even loving, letting go; precisely for love. Isn't that a paradox? well no. But that is precisely what love is. The true love. Being able to look at that someone from afar with immense love and walk away. Being able to accept a truth that never fails: impermanence, nothing is permanent, everything, everything, has an end and it is precisely during that end that we continue to love, there we can say that we LOVE.

When you look at a field full of flowers and you love it... you just sit down to enjoy it and be grateful for it. But if you start plucking the flowers to take them with you... do you think you are loving that field? or you just want it.

I have never been able to understand those couples who loved each other (or thought they loved each other when they only want each other) very much and when the end comes, they can't even stand each other anymore... why???? How can you go from love to hate? How after loving someone so much, can you hate them? It's illogical!

I already hear you all:

*Paola, has no one been mean to you?

*Paola, no one has betrayed you?

*Paola, no one has hurt you?

Dear readers... Nobody, nobody can cause you emotional damage if you don't feel damaged.

Of course, during my life I have had hard times, with many tears, moments where I felt like I would die... but the pain came from my heart, no one was forcing me to take it. It was the pain of MY OWN EXPECTATIONS.

Until one day, I understood that the men that I loved was exactly the same one that leave today, and if I loved him before, why eliminate that love or worse, replace it with hate?

No. I made the decision to continue loving... from afar and without it hurting me, to wish him to be immensely happy on his new path, that there were no blame or complaints. Years and lives will pass and I only ask that I never stop loving. Of course I needed some time for myself, to heal my wounds and continue walking. But I learned that many times people don't heal their wounds because they are constantly opening them.

Letting go of someone you love, with serenity, is, for me, the greatest act of love. Love for me and love for the other.

And what about today ?

What does this witch love today? What is it that this witch would like to experience regarding love?

Well, if you have already read this far, you must be somewhat curious, right?

I love... many things, places and people.

I discovered something very important for me regarding loving someone:

The Admiration

It is completely impossible for me to fall in love with someone I don't admire.

Now I return the question to you:

What characteristics do the people you admire have?

I need to feel that this other being brings me something that I don't have, something in which he is an expert or is working to become one. Someone with strong ideals similar to mine. And that he is always looking to be a better person, not only does he want it... He is really making moves in his life to achieve it. It is important to me that when I am by his side, I feel proud of that person. I want to feel loved (even if I love myself) I want to feel protected (although I know how to take care of myself) I want to feel like I'm your priority. I want you to pamper me, with words, with actions and also gifts (why not?) I want an independent man, financially and emotionally (because I am) I want well-planned surprises that seek to sweeten my life. I want to plan trips to see magical places. I want long conversations, for hours and hours. I want to laugh out loud!! Humor is one of the best ways to fall in love.

I'm not looking for a man to have in my bed, I don't want that. If a man thinks that only through sex i will be happy... they have the wrong woman. If there isn't something else that connects me... I'll get bored very quickly and drift away.

I like men who can make love to me with intelligent words. That stimulate my intelligence and always surprise me.